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Deleted Two Become One discussion

9 years 5 months ago - 9 years 4 months ago #1 by Pioneer
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    • Hello everyone,
    As this is the frist story that I’m working on here, I hope everyone likes it. And I also hope that I’m not being too ambitious with this work. I’d had several concepts rattling around in my head for a while now and, as an avid reader and writer, had to put them down before they drove me nuts.
    Last Edit: 9 years 4 months ago by Pioneer.
    9 years 5 months ago #2 by shadeofred
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    • Seems like a pretty good start. Only criticism I have about the writing itself is the the paragraph explaining the lack of heroes in town and the h1 presence felt shoehorned in between the other two paragraphs. If you add some transition into the topic, it wouldn't feel like a jarring departure from the story.

    Looking forward to more chapters! What do you think your rate of output will be?
    9 years 5 months ago #3 by Pioneer
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    • Thanks,
    Hopefully that flows a little better. I don't know how I missed the odd placement.
    More chapter to come soon...possibly later tonight or tomorrow.
    8 years 10 months ago #4 by mhalpern
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    • I look forward to part 3
    Any Bad Ideas I have and microscene OC character stories are freely adoptable.
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